Ariana Madix Breaks Silence on Tom Sandoval and Raquel Lewis’ Affair: ‘What Doesn’t Kill Me Better Run’

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Ariana Madix attends Friends & Family opening at Schwartz & Sandy with the cast

Amanda Edwards / Getty; Emma McIntyre / WireImage; Charles Sykes/Bravo/Getty Ariana Madix, Tom Sandoval and Raquel Lewis

ariana madix speaking for the first time since my ex tom sandoval and their vanderpump rules co-star Raquel Lewis both apologized months old affair He Sandoval and Maddix ended their nine-year relationship,

Maddix, 37, share your candid thoughts via Instagram late Wednesday night, writing, “Hi. Where to begin? I want to express my most sincere gratitude for the love and support I’ve received from friends, family, and everyone I’ve ever met over the past two years.” Haven’t even met.” Week.”

She continued, “When I thought I couldn’t even stand it, you all have given me the strength to carry on and have seen me through my worst. To say that I am devastated and broken, It’s an understanding.”

“However,” she said, “I know I am not alone in this. Many of my closest friends are also mourning this loss and grappling with this betrayal on so many levels. I am so lucky to have found ” Best support system in the world and I hope I can repay every single one of you for the love you’ve shown me.”

She concluded, “Who doesn’t kill me, flees. Love, Ariana”.

Connected: vanderpump rules Women slam Raquel as a ‘liability’ who is ‘only interested in men, her friends are married’

madix discovered Sandoval, 40, was cheating on Lewis, 28, on March 1 when she noticed “inappropriate” message between the two on his phone while he was performing with his band Tom Sandoval & the Most Extras in Los Angeles.

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A source told PEOPLE days after the discovery, “She was completely blindsided by it; devastated doesn’t even scratch the surface of how she feels.” “This is someone she thought she knew; someone she planned to spend the rest of her life with. You can’t even put into words that betrayal.”

Connected: Kristen Doute Says Ariana Madix Doesn’t Have a ‘Leech That’s Dragging Her Down’ After Tom Sandoval Split

Tom Sandoval, Ariana Madix

Tom Sandoval, Ariana Madix

Amanda Edwards / Getty Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix

Sandoval contested the charges on March 7, posting a Apology Post for Maddix on his Instagram page. (It was the Schwartz & Sandy co-owner’s second apology in four days — the first love crime No mention of medics.)

“I want to apologize first and foremost to everyone who was hurt by this process,” he began later Tuesday. “Above all, I want to apologize to Ariana. I made mistakes, was selfish, and made reckless decisions that hurt someone I love. No one deserves to feel that pain so painfully and publicly Not there.”

He continued, “I can only imagine how devastating this must have been for Ariana and everyone around us. I feel really terrible about it. My biggest regret is that I lost Ariana.” Offended. I never meant to disappoint so many people, including our dear family and friends.”

Connected: Tom Sandoval Says He ‘Deserves Your Anger and Disappointment’ After Cheating: ‘Sorry’

Sandoval reflected on his long relationship with Maddix. He said, “My love for Ariana was stronger than any camera could ever capture.” “Some of our best times were never filmed. The same goes for some of our biggest struggles. I wish things would have been in a different order and our relationship hadn’t been severely tarnished, and it deserves the same respect for him.” ends with what it began with. i like ariana better.

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“I am deeply saddened that it ended the way it did,” concluded his statement. “The choices I have made have hurt so many people. I have acted in a way that reflects who and how I want to be. I will continue to reflect and work on myself.”

Connected: Tom Schwartz Commentary on the Tom Sandoval and Raquel Lewis Cheating Scandal

Tom Sandoval, Raquel Lewis

Tom Sandoval, Raquel Lewis

Araya Doheny/Getty Tom Sandoval and Raquel Lewis

Lewis released his statement the next day.,

,i want to apologize for my actions And most importantly my choice for Ariana, and my friends and fans who are invested in our relationship,” she began.

“There are no excuses, I am not a victim and I must own up to my actions and I am deeply sorry for hurting Ariana,” he said in the statement. entertainment tonight, “I am considering my choices, talking with a counselor and I am learning things about myself like my patterns of codependency and addiction to love and feel loved. I have sought emotional validation through intimate relationships who are not healthy in relation to my own well-being, sometimes negatively affecting others and often prioritizing close relationships over my friendships.”

Connected: Raquel Lewis Reveals Tom Sandoval Relationship Status: ‘I Care About Tom’ But ‘I Need Time to Heal’

Lewis later shared an additional statement exclusively with PEOPLE on March 8.

“besides the uncertain circumstances surrounding our relationshipMy feelings for Tom have always been honest and born of a loving friendship,” she exclusively told People. “Knowing how many people we hurt makes me understand and improve my choices.” Need to learn.”

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“I have to take care of my health, work on self-development and find time to be alone,” she continues. “I care about Tom and I don’t want to label anything or predict what will happen next. Right now I just need to heal.”

Raquel Lewis 'Vanderpump Rules'

Raquel Lewis ‘Vanderpump Rules’

Chelsea Lauren / shutterstock

Connected: Ariana Madix ‘Hasn’t Been Alone’ Since Tom Sandoval Split: ‘She’s Had A Ton Of Support’

A rep for Sandoval confirmed to PEOPLE on March 6 that she and Maddix were “Still Living Together” In his Valley Village home despite the breakup. “They own the home together, and it will take time to sort out what happens next with the property,” the rep said. “It’s not something that’s going to be decided over the weekend.”

Meanwhile, a source told PEOPLE that “Everyone [was] to rally” surrounding Maddix in the wake of the revelations about Sandoval and Lewis.

The insider added, “Ariana hasn’t been lonely at all since this happened.” “She’s got a lot of support around her. All the girls in her friend group have been taking turns visiting her at her house the clock.”

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vanderpump rules Airs Wednesdays at 9 p.m. ET on Bravo.